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History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can’t help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students.
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock!
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code!
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th!
What did Mason say to Dixon?
We’ve got to draw the line here!
How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?
Baroque.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!
Why did Columbus cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
The same middle name!
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two Wrights did make an airplane!
What did King George think of the American colonies?
He thought they were revolting.
Why is history like a fruit cake?
It’s full of dates.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hissssstory.
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up too!
How are the first Americans like ants?
They both live in colonies.
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked.
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code.
What’s the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
