Are you a music teacher who loves to tell jokes? Keep your class up-tempo with this collection of our favorite corny music jokes collected from our favorite online teachers and websites.
1. How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
2. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
3. How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
4. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
5. What musical keys do cows sing in?
Beef flat.
6. How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
7. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
8. Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
9. What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
10. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?
Feyoncé.
11. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
12. What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
13. What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
Bach in the saddle again.
14. What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
15. Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes.
16. What do you get when you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
17. Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
18. Why was the musician arrested?
Because she got in treble.
19. What did the robbers take from the music store?
The lute.
20. What makes music on your hair?
A headband.
21. What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
22. Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going “Bach! Bach! Bach!”
23. What part of a turkey is musical?
The drumstick.
24. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
25. What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.
26. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
27. What do you call a musical insect?
A humbug.
28. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
29. What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
30. What makes songs but never sings?
Notes.
31. What’s big and gray with horns?
An elephant marching band.
32. What kind of music do bunnies like?
Hip-hop.
33. What has 40 feet and sings?
The school choir.
34. What is the musical part of a snake?
Its scales.
35. What makes pirates such good singers?
They can hit the high Cs.
36. What has a neck but no head?
A bass.
37. Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
38. What’s the most musical bone?
The trombone.
39. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
40. What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
41. What did the bartender say to Middle C, E flat, and G?
“Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
42. Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
Never mind—it’s too short.
43. Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
44. What do you call an elf that sings?
A wrapper.
45. A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
46. Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
47. What do you call clean music?
A soap opera.
48. There are so many jokes about a certain composer…
I could make you a Liszt.
49. What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
50. Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
51. What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
52. What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoonteit.
53. What do you call a set of musical dentures?
Falsetto teeth.
54. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music?
Swing.
55. What type of soap did the composer use?
Anti-BACH-terial.
56. What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
57. Want to hear the one about fermata?
Never mind—it’s too long.
58. What has a lot of keys but can’t open doors?
A piano.
59. How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!
60. What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
61. What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music?
Guac and roll.
62. What genre of music is a national anthem?
Country music.
63. What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
64. What do you get when you put a radio in the fridge?
Cool music.
65. What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
66. What’s a cat’s favorite subject at school?
Mew-sic.
67. What sort of music does a mountain like?
Rock.
68. What’s the best Christmas present in the whole world?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!
69. Where do pianists go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
70. What is a cucumber’s favorite instrument?
A pickle-o.
71. Are you a major scale?
Because you are all-natural to me.
72. Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
